Whatever

My Morning until 9:15am:

I woke up at 6:30, R had moved to Tide's bed, Tide was in with me, Dorado flailing in his crib. I pour coffee for two and climb into bed as R emerges from Tide's room.

I get Tide a drink, tend to Dorado, diaper & bottle, get another round of coffee in time for me to hit the shower.

I shower. R watches the two boys.

R gets up when I come out and he showers while I make the bed, dress Tide, entertain Dorado, open the business door and unlock the shop door.

R gets out of the shower, puts his shoes on and opens the gate, while I get Tide to brush his teeth, take his vitamin and entertain Dorado. I also get a bank deposit together and write the weekly payment for Daycare.

I get Tide set as R sits down to do his daily computer time while I usually bring Tide to school. Today there's a slight twist as I have a Doctors appointment at 8:45.

R states how "that'll fuck up another morning", as he asks aren't you taking Dorado?

I pack up Dorados shit and shove him and Tide into the car. Needing to leave at 8, I pull out of the driveway at 8:15.

I buzz to school, Take Tide and Dorado in to drop off Tide. Tide clings to me and is pried off by his teacher. (not normal, usually he has no issues walking away, but he decides the cling-to-Mom-game is cool today)

I pay the school and throw Dorado back in his seat. Next I stop by the bank to deposit the money I was able to get from the guy who bounced a check to us... Because you know, my accounts are all fucked up.

I buzz out of the bank, fuel tank reading EMPTY... Of course! (my digital meter says I have 25 miles left of fuel... Should make it to the Doctors office)

I hit one light right, the rest turn red in front of me. I pull into the Doctors office, gather Dorado and his luggage. I sign in and sit. I'm 10 minutes late. Not bad considering.

***I try to get early appointments since they're usually on time in the morning, which works for me, though I hate to be late for them.

I have caught my breath just in time for the nurse to call my name. I weigh in. Of course I have to drop all my luggage and hand the baby off...

I sit on the table with Dorado next to me playing with that awesome crinkle paper on the table. (they really need to market that to babies... 3 months or so to what 7 months?)

The nurse takes my blood pressure... It's high. I just laugh at her. Gee I wonder why.

Needless to say he upped my dose of antidepressants. Apparently he thinks I need it.

Just another day in paradise... ?

Not Really.

The customer who owes us several thousand dollars opted to wait until next week to wire us the funds. (I guess being done with the job for three weeks before paying fits his fancy better) I guess that silver lining I avoid finding would be I'm certain I could sell his $30K boat for the balance of what he owes without an issue, so it's okay... Really.

However the sorry motherfucker who bounced a $1500 check to us and has his boat in his possession needs to bring me my money NOW. I guess it's not good enough that we work 50 + hour weeks, I guess it's not good enough that we worked on his boat for days on end making it run smoothly, we still need to work more. We need to RE-EARN our money. I love that part. We get to be painted as the bad evil shop hunting him down for payment. I honestly don't give a fuck if his girlfriend left him and bought a bunch of shit on his account before she left. I do not want to hear it, I've heard it all before, really, people have some really great excuses. Some real, legitimate, others sorry motherfuckers.

See, a person who is remorseful, meaning well , yet caught in a bad situation will bring their boat in, let us hold it until the debt is paid. They will pay $20/week until they can clear their bill. Those people do not bother me, I have a soft spot, understanding that things don't go as planned and sometimes, (a lot), thing aren't like you want them to be. More times than not, the people who write us bad checks know they are doing it when they smile and thank me for all our hard work. These people infuriate me.

Here's where running your own business looses it's halo of glory that people paint it as. So, let me clarify a few minor points. (1) No we DO NOT make our own hours, you work more than you want and get chastised when you take a day off. (2) We do not make the shop rate per hour! It's more like $1.00 per hour, thanks for thinking we're raking it in, and over charging your ass! Shit by the time you pay insurances you're lucky to make a profit, then... Oops someone bounces a fucking check and look you're in the fucking hole... Again. (3) Every "fuck you"that you swallow while a customer is complaining to you does not easily roll off your back. They build until you find yourself taking copious amounts of antidepressants and tranquilizers to get through the day.

So, paradise? Today it's not.

Thoughts

Well, I started reading all of my entries last week in preparation for my first year of this blog... I finally was able to finish this morning. (not much alone time) So, a lot has happened, but I don't feel like I actually wrote down enough. I hope to get better...

R is offshore today. Our Bil and his Dad and brother went with him. Tide was going to go, but came in cough/hacking last night with a fever. He was still hot when R woke up this morning so opted to leave him home. When Tide woke up he was so upset that R went without him, he claims he is not sick and that he doesn't like me. (obviously my fault he is still home and R is offshore without him) Sigh.

I could have gone offshore too, though it would have been a little crowded, but I plan on visiting with my Mother today. She is closing on her house April 3rd and is moving to southwest Georgia. I wanted a day to hang with her without R or her husband... We're meeting in a couple of hours.

So, I went to my family doctor a couple of weeks ago to get birth control and an antidepressant. I feel like I have PPD or something. I hope it works...

I started my personal trainer/gym stuff two weeks ago. I'm feeling a little better physically. He has me on a low calorie diet and exercise program. I have lost 5 pounds... Only 55 more to go.

As a result of my starting a workout schedule we have even fewer hours together as a family. R works out two days a week, I work out two days a week, we grocery shop Wednesdays and are trying to maintain the weekends as ours. It has been hectic.

The boys are doing well. Dorado is a blast, what a fun age. He is so full of smiles. I walked in Friday night after my workout to find R had put both boys in the tub for a bubble bath. Dorado was belly laughing at Tide who was splashing water at Dorado. It was so wonderful to see them playing like that! Now to get Dorado to stop crying right now...