Hanging in there

Well, our household is still ill. I really wish I knew why and how we continually get sick here. Tide is much better, all that remains is a lingering runny nose. However R is much worse again. I made an appointment for him yesterday and he went back in this morning for a chest X-Ray. Apparently he has pneumonia. He looks horrible and is miserable.

I woke up this morning not feeling too hot myself. Just feel exhausted, shaky, weak... and I have a badly swollen eye. (it was shut this morning, and the swelling has gone down some, but I didn't do anything to it! No rubbing, no lost eyelash, nothing. Just very sore and very swollen.) Sigh.

I had an appointment with my OB on Wednesday morning. I haven't gained any weight in a month, which is nice. There apparently isn't any discussions of this child making any sort of early appearance. In fact he re-nigged on saying I was measuring big and should have another ultrasound. He said everything seems normal. (see ya next week, chow baby) He didn't even mention doing an internal or anything. Just because I haven't been writhing in pain doesn't mean I don't have any progress! I just hope he does an internal next week. (37w 3d) I would think it might be called for at that point.

Of course, it's not like I'm actually ready for the baby. I mean every ounce of my body wants the baby to be out in the real world, but I really don't have anything done. I need to purchase some bureaus so I have a place to put his clothes, and all of our clothes for that matter. Plus I still need to finish going through the baby boxes, go to the store and pick up the things we don't have. Like diapers! That might help! So, since R is bed bound, I hope to get out and get some of these needed things done this weekend. Which I feel bad about because it's his 40th Birthday tomorrow and we had some nice plans. Sadly he's not well enough to do any of them.

I also want to shovel out this pig sty of a house. I've been postponing it too long. I just feel like if I could get the bureaus, wash all the baby clothes, organize all our clothes and miscellaneous stuff, then I'd have everything put away where I could clean each room and feel good. I just can't seem to start without a place to put all the crap.

So, Tide is still doing pretty well with the potty training. He has had two accidents at school this week. I hope they're just coincidence, and not a sign of some issues. He seems very excited about his baby brother. He was tickling him (my belly) when we were waiting for R's prescription at the pharmacy last night. I asked him to stop tickling my belly and he informed me he was not tickling me, he was tickling his baby brother! Silly Mommy.

Sick Report, Business and Breasts

So, the prognosis is/was that I have been fighting Bronchitis. R and Tide have been fighting a summer flu. Tide has been down with a high fever and all since Sunday night. It's so sad a pathetic to see him sick. Luckily it doesn't seem to be flaring up his asthma which will be awesome if he makes it through this bug without that happening. Our Labor Day weekend was spent sick doing nothing. We had hoped to be better by Tuesday, but that hasn't happened. I feel a lot better and can sleep on a bed now, however Tide keeps us up hours every night. R is still fighting it, he is still getting some fevers, aches, etc. Tide is still right in the middle of his illness. Sigh. I hope we're all better soon.


The economic impact of last years hurricanes, the devastating Katrina and the sudden rise in gas prices is taking a toll on our Business. Since last year, our Business has slowed, months that were normally boom times were slow and the normal slow times dismal. However, the increase in fuel will lead to an even larger decline in our Business flow. (for those who don't know we're in the Marine Business) It's is simply a fact that people's toys are the first to be set aside in times of need. So, as I watch the list of customers become smaller and smaller, I just hope that we're one of the few that can keep going.

Yes, and we did get our proposed property taxes in. We're looking at another $1500 if they don't approve the proposed increases and an additional $2400 if they do. This is after a $3000 increase last year.


Breastfeeding... I breast fed Tide for three weeks after his birth. A lot of issues led to my stopping. It was not an easy decision, but one that I feel worked out fine for our family. I have read and do know the immense benefits of Breast milk vs. Formula. One argument for breast feeding is how it helps build the infants immune system. I believe it does for the first six weeks, until the infants' system is fully producing on it's own. That said, Tide had his first major illness at four months. He contracted the RSV virus and ended up with pneumonia. He spent time in and out of the hospital. He was diagnosed with infant or childhood asthma. His Dr. is convinced he will out grow it, which I have seen a dramatic improvement the older he gets. Asthma is an allergy, and R's family (all of them) have very bad allergies. I guess my point is, I don't think my breastfeeding or not had anything to do with how Tide has been with the various illnesses we've fought over these last three years.

During Tide's Dr. appointment on Tuesday, I told his pediatrician how scared these flus/colds have me concerning the baby that I should be cradling in my arms within a month. When Tide was little we really did what we could to keep him away from the public germ factory. This child will be brought into a house that isn't as well protected. Tide goes to daycare, he brings home a lot of bugs from school. She told me just to do what I could to isolate the baby from whomever is sick in the family if that becomes an issue. She was sympathetic since she just had her third child in December, and was dealing with a similar situation in her house.

Needless to say I mentioned this fear to my very close friend and Aunt in a letter yesterday. She replied with a scathing slam against my not breastfeeding Tide. Saying that he is proof that breastfeeding is far superior. She was utterly blown away that our pediatrician wouldn't advocate breastfeeding as a solution to my fears. First of all, my pediatrician DOES highly recommend breastfeeding. Secondly, I haven't said I wasn't going to try and breastfeed this baby. Thirdly, I really don't look at Tide as a prime example of how much better breastfeeding is. I was hurt by her comments.

I've always had a lagging guilt that we didn't try harder to make it work for Tide and I. I also have a huge burden of guilt that I don't think it'll work for the new baby either. I know a lot of formula fed babies that do not get sick, that do not have asthma, and grow up healthy.

Just something else to throw on my plate... I know I didn't have enough to worry about.

Sick, but more tired.

I have no right to complain about my life as I see thousands and thousands of peoples lives destroyed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Even after shouldering the affects of three hurricanes last year, I can't even imagine what they are going through. I can say that living without power and your basic necessities does something to people. It goes to your core, it changes you. At least here if you were out of power you still had the ability to go to a near by town and get supplies, a few minutes in a stores air conditioning, even a shower if you were thinking on your toes. FEMA and the Red Cross were able to set up stations close enough for people to access their help. The people who are suffering now can't even get to the help and the help can't get to them. It's just horrible ... A tragedy.

I couldn't even touch on my life here without at least mentioning the devastation along the Gulf Coast. I keep reminding myself that we are lucky, that the things making life hard on me isn't anything in comparison. Perspective is hard sometimes, but easily obtained now.

Yes, I am sick, I have been all week. Another head and chest cold with the added bonus of a dry hacking, oxygen depriving cough that wrenches my entire body. I'm not sleeping since sleeping usually entails laying down, which sends me directly into one of the above described coughing spells. My breathing after an episode can be compared to labor, it takes me a while with my short breathing, in, out, in, out, in, out, before my head stops spinning and my face doesn't feel drained of blood. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I think I'll apply to become the professional sick pregnant woman just to show everyone how it should be done. What I would give for a handful, bottle full of every possible cold medication out there. Instead I get to have Tylenol. Thank you. Yes, I have heard some Robotussins are kosher too, but not for this chick, they make me vomit. So, I try to get through it. R told me to call my Dr. yesterday, I didn't, but will today. I am convinced they'll read off the list of things I can take and tell me to put my feet up. Great.

On the kid front, My due date is getting closer. (THANK YOU!) The child within is measuring big (surprise*... Not) so they'll schedule another ultrasound to see what kind of monster I'm growing in there. All I can say is hopefully a monster that comes out soon. This has been a long nine months. (I know it's TEN months, I have one left!)

*They measured Tide large too, estimating him over 10 pounds, he was just shy of 9 pounds. I'm not petite, so kinda expect a big boy. We'll see what they "estimate" this time.

Tide is cuter by the day and potty trained! Fuck the pull ups! Straight to underwear. Duh. (I do still put him in pull ups at night, though he is probably only wet once a week at night.) YES! That's my boy! Something I had no clue how to do, just kinda fell into place. I'm just so happy these kids figure it out on their own, because I really suck at trying to initiate things. So, happy diaper free dance!

R is in bed sick too. He has the chills. Can not get warm! (with a heat index around 105, I find that just not good) So, he's in his sweats under a pile of blankets and I am naked in front of the air conditioning vent. We make such a good couple. So far all I've heard from Tide concerning this thing we have is he did tell me his throat was sore on the way to school this morning. Poor guy.

Last night Tide was in our bed between us. It was his bed time. R asked Tide what time it was. Tide firmly replied, "I'm not a watch."

Yes, I laughed which prompted Tide into a huge victory grin.

We are supposed to have R's sister Dawn and family over this weekend to hang out on the river side. I'm two coughing fits away from calling and telling them to save themselves!